Until It Beats No More

Until It Beats No More is a personal blog.

My name is Amanda (a.k.a. Taina) and I am 23 years old. I'm an inspiration and imagination-full, life-loving and an artistic girl. Currently I live in Helsinki, Finland. I love to express my mind in any way possible, whether it is singing, photographing, writing or drawing or simply saying my thoughts out loud. Those are the tools I use when I want to tell a message to people.
I am somewhat mysterious. I am not letting people too close, 'cause I don't trust people so easily. I think more than I speak. Often some may think they can read me but are more commonly mistaken. I've always been different and "ahead of others". And by no means my purpose is not to brag about it. I hope that I find someone similar to me some day. In the mean time, I could share things that I do or love:
Things I love mostly in life are pretty simple but here're some:
watching treetops in the wind, watching leaves in the wind, darkness and the lights at night time, roadtrips/cardrives,
summer, greennes, the moon, the Sun, rain, space, stars, freshly cut grass, watching meadows and forests,
walking in the woods, loving when it's genuine and peaceful, animals, the Earth, children, nature, sunsets
and break of dawns, singing, music, dancing, movies, photographing, acting, filming, modeling, poems, writing, thunders, lightnings, mountains etc.


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Florencia Durante - Envelopment (2013)

(via gasstation)

I am not sure have I posted this here earlier but here it comes (again?)

I’m ugly truly hello Moly pony
I’m not a beauty of the beautiful 
I’m a silent warrior 
I’m ugly truly hello moly pony, are you holy 
Do you understand? Do you see?
You are teasing me, stop leaning on me, stop staring at me,
stop stopping the boat going where the river is falling
down down from the fall into the grass land
Crash of ice in your face I see you are probably smiling
Don’t laugh at me
I’m ugly truly hello pony 
I’m Moly
I am not the beauty you see in the reflection
I am the holy in your story
I remember all you’ve said
I am a beauty
Hello Pony. © me

Chasing lovers in a front porch
What? Birds are gliding down 
Hitting the ground like lightnings in the dark
Burning, igniting the world to scarlet sparks
I didn’t play on your heart
I’m screaming to the wall of mirrors
Seeing myself like this is a ghastly thing
(But) I know I choked my sin 

To the sunflower bed I fall
On the fields of an everlasting galore
Above I fly in this orange sea
I can see all and everything now

My vision so bright as a new
I cast a spell of flaming dew
Against the burning light of the sun

I step forward and say your name
I spread my wings and rocket to the sky
I cast a spell of flaming dew
Against the kingdom of the sun, in the castles of burgundy god.

© Tayna (me)

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"Should I tell my whole life story here that people would stop shitting on me", I think to myself (have thought quite often).

It would not change a thing, though, because quite few people in this world know and understand the concept of empathy towards another person. Everyone just wants to conclude things the way they see the best.
I could honestly throw up on people’s continuous hoggish behaviour.
Once again I tell you, we were not born to this world to live in constant discord and to harvest hate towards each other. Many people are like cocks of the walk, thinking “I am living on this green water and forest full planet where there are dozens of ways to make new discoveries and developements and destroy this planet slowly - but not so slowly at all but very fast. I am me me me and I am walking on this terrain…”, until they face some conflict or devastating situation in their little lifes when they might understand what’s this all about. And perhaps not even then.
And when the thing passes they go back to their normal assholish selves and continue to be assholes, again forgetting the real point. Like forgetting the person who just might have told you the most horrible thing you’ve ever heard in your life.

We all die you know, and we all have similar graves.
Just as a record.

I feel peace when the sky is cloudless and blue
I feel love when I see the sun
I feel relaxed when I look at the sea
I feel safe when I see a hazy edge of the world

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I’m not gay, but I think exactly the same way about people in general. People are way too cruel to one another and it should not be like that. People are starting up fights and making someone else suffer for no reason or of the littlest things. People don’t accept theirselves and those who are different are being bullied of it and it is unbelievable. Society is horribe! It literally tells you not to be yourself. Once again, it should NOT be like that. I cried while watching Page. (And I just woke up an hour ago…) Courage to everyone who are brave enough to say their opinion a loud and be theirselves.

Model: me (Taina)

Shot taken by: Sofia

More photos and my works at http://sx-canis-lupus.deviantart.com

Rock the beast from your heart
Then be the woman who’s under the bridge
The man on the railroad track

Survive from the ballroom dance
What’s the tango now, in the feast of the burning oak

Be the underage boy in the train
Stay on the track on the railroad, man
Rock the beast from your heart you clear your eyes
Get the shining star to your hands and climb up under the bridge, upside down
Woman, that’s your domain, 
Don’ wanna be the man on the railroad track 

© me (Taina S. a.k.a. PhoeniX)

It was nineteen sixty nine and I was walking on a sidewalk with hemisphere smile
Now, it was an afternoon haze on people’s face
I flipped a coin and lighted up a cigar 
I sat on the street and took my guitar
I started to play and I sang
About an afternoon in people’s hearts
With late time teas and coffees in their hands
What a poem in my mind this world sickens my tongue
I tapped my foot and a boy on my left shoulder side jumped up
He started to rock in my music and I was just a singing man
I took a flower from my pocket and put it behind my ear
It started to rain on this wistful day and I sipped my tea
Continued to play that strange tone with my guitar
And the afternoon went bye…… 

© me (Taina S. a.k.a. PhoeniX)